I know you're asleep but have I got a great idea for a book ...

If you're not a "director" or an "actor" in this town, then you must be a writer. And you're just bursting with stories to tell because you know that everyone else's favourite past times include having the tits bored off them.

But I digress. Here's the plan. Seeing how I'm the only sane person who knows that cartoons/comics/manga/band de-whatever-the-fuck-you-want-to-call-them are the basest form of "art" (right down there with being a director, actor or writer) and I'm proof that any dumb fuck with a crayon in his hand can draw them (see my previous blog posts, some of them are just chock full of 2 minute crayola goodness), I thought it would be a merry prank to crank out a "graphic novel".

What's the plot? Fucked if I know. All I can guarantee is that it won't be some whiney milquetoast bleat about "Oh, I am a poor struggling genius who is trying to overcome my writer's block and I shall do it in a poetic manner because at least there will be unintentional laughs along the way."

No, it won't be like that at all.

So as soon as I can be fucked, I'll post a page a day. You can collect them all, print them out, wrap some frayed elastic from your shit-stained underpants around it and bingo - you've got yourself a "graphic novel".

Of course it's going to be a work of staggering genius. How can it be but anything else with a title like 'The Bad Cartoonist'?